1 YEAR

                     Yesterday we celebrated the one year anniversary of Josiah's Gotcha Day! The past couple weeks and months Jon and I have done a lot of reminiscing of this incredible time in our lives. My eyes still flood with tears when I remember trying to hold back the sobs when we took Josiah around to say good-bye to the other kids and nannies. By the time we were walking through gate Jon and I both had tears streaming down our faces as we felt so acutely for Josiah. Although our hearts were filled with praise that God was beautifully molding us into "our family," it was done so with an unimaginable loss on Josiah's part.

This past year has flown and it seems crazy to think that Josiah has only been part of our lives for a year. His contagious smile and curious personality entertains us constantly! We put on Josiah's "Gotcha Day" outfit he wore for his good-bye party and it was just another reminder of how much he has grown, not just physically, but in so many other countless ways. Josiah, you make our hearts swell with so much joy and WE LOVE YOU!

Some other things going on in our lives...

 Father's Day weekend. We used creme filled cupcakes to reveal to our family that we are having a boy! 

Peanut butter and graham crackers....my wonderful friends! 

Since my first trimester nausea and vomiting decided it was going to hang around, I have found these two foods to be my dependable companions.

Jon and I celebrated Father's Day at Baker Street. It looks a little overly sunny in the picture, but we had an awesome meal and enjoyed the warm evening. 

I knew Jon was going to be an awesome dad, but he constantly amazes me. Two weeks ago I pulled a muscle in my back and Jon stepped up above and beyond I would have ever expected, and he did it all with grace. I am so blessed!

Jon and Josiah enjoying the water park on the Monon Trail in Indianapolis. Thanks Matt and Rachael for inviting us!

Our nephew Cade after his first birthday cake destruction. We all agreed that we had never seen a kid attack the cake the way he did!

I love this picture of Josiah and Ian watching TV together. Josiah adores Ian.

Josiah cooling off while Connor and Evan slip and slide.

I took this picture the first day our air conditioning stopped working, mostly because of the irony that is said "cool." Thankfully out of the five days it was broken we were either gone all or most of the day, enjoying the humid 85 degree temperature in our sleep:~)

Lastly, to update you all about our transition to Gateway Woods. We accepted a position as alternate house parents in the end of May and have already started some training, which will continue into July. We will move from our current house in Fort Wayne (which thankfully has sold already) into Grabill mid-July. We are excited and nervous all at the same time. We appreciate all the support and prayers we have gotten already, especially in light of Josiah going through another transition and for our new little guy coming at the end of October.

Picture update

The end of April started with a three day road trip to visit friends and family from Illinois. We had a great evening hanging out with Traever and Andrea, Chris and Amanda, and Craig and Laura. 

Apparently the girls banned Josiah to the bed:~)

After spending the night with Traever and Andrea, we headed to my sister Jen's house in Roanoke. We were fortunate to stop by and visit Rich and Becky Metcalf and family on the way (sadly no pictures) and enjoyed catching up with them. The last time we saw them was in Ethiopia. What a great family!

We had such a fun time with the Feucht family! One of the highlights for Josiah was going with their kids to the barn to see the animals.

Checking out the sheep and cows.

Josiah adores Charity and followed her around the whole time.

Group shot with the Feucht kiddos.

Saturday night we enjoyed meeting up with the Anlikers at the park in Roanoke. I've been amazed by all the new friends and connections we've made through our adoption experience.

Next fun trip was to Indy with Grandma Myra to go the the Children's Museum with Rachael, Ian, and Cade. Josiah was in heaven!

Ian and Josiah in a giant "Hot Wheels."

The beginning of May I attended Summit 9 in Nashville. It was an amazing two days of speakers and break-out sessions. I was so thankful I went!

My co-travelers: Leah, Emily, and Leslie.

Had a great time at the conference hanging out with Sheresa and Mandy.

One of the things I love about warm weather is eating outside! 

It got a little chilly- but we had a great time with Solomon, Doris, and Pauline. 

Josiah NEVER ceases to make me laugh. He snuck his mower into the bathtub a couple weeks ago and was making some serious waves!

One of the things I love about living in Fort Wayne is living close to some really great parks and the zoo! Josiah and I enjoyed his first zoo experience together with my two awesome co-workers Ashley and Rachel and their kiddos. 

We continue to make updates on our house! I love the way our living room is turning out. 

(Sadly, we won't be enjoying this much longer...but that is for another post!)

Last weekend we drove to Champaign and had a blast spending the night with Neil and Kim Kellenberger and their kids. They brought home their twin girls about 6 months before Josiah so we had lots of things to chat about:~)

I had to include this picture because Josiah could not get enough of Jaci!

Lastly, we enjoyed attending the beautiful wedding of Amit and Sydney Parkhe. Jon was with Amit in India when we first got engaged so it's always fun to reminisce about this time in our lives. 

Hope you are all having a great spring!

When your dreams do a 180...

This is one of those posts where you sit down to type it. Erase it. Retype. Repeating it over a couple times because you are struggling to find a way to share all the thoughts tumbling around in your mind.

It's evident to those around us that this past year has been eventful and very blessed. Bringing home Josiah has changed our lives in amazing ways and the move to Fort Wayne has added to the  adventure of it all. Despite the somewhat chaotic life tumbling around us, Jon and I felt God nudging us to grow our family. We started praying about adopting again, this time through domestic adoption. We also started talking about looking into foster care as a potential ministry for our family as well. So late February we met with Gateway Woods to get council and get started on our Home study paperwork. 

Just as we had with Josiah, we started bathing our "next baby's" birth family in prayer. Curious thoughts filled our mind as we wondered who they were, how they were doing, and praying our Father would give them peace and comfort. When you adopt a child, the lack of control brings your knees constantly as you understand that only God can answer your desires to protect and care for this child and to bring healing and preparation for the birth family, baby, and our family. 

The paperwork began and I began agency researching; stressing and praying for guidance from others and God. So when I got hit by the "flu" that lingered, it took a few off hand comments of others to bring me out of complete denial that I was in fact pregnant. Hands shaking I took the two pregnancy tests that I intended to give a friend for her bachlerette shower and literally stood their shaking and numb. WHAT? 

Truthfully, Jon and I had no known fertiliy issues, and made the decision to adopt internationally because that's how we felt God was leading us. But I wouldn't be being honest that based of some past experiences, we assumed if I was going to get pregnant, it was going to be because we were "trying."

I typed to a dear confidant that day...Needless so say I am blindsided by this change of events. Excited, but blindsided. I cried on and off all afternoon as I mourned the loss of this baby I had been dreaming and praying about. I felt guilty as I prayed to God in thankfulness and confusion. How can I be so excited and so disappointed? 

I am also ashamed to say it has taken weeks for me to get to the place that I have accepted the fact that God is in control of our family and He knows best! I had fully convinced myself that what was best for our family, specifically Josiah, was to adopt again. Then, we would try for biological children. 

So here we are, heading into week 12. As much as we enjoyed the the joys of the first trimester (that is obviously sarcastic), we are so thankful to be moving forward and seeing what God has in store for our family. For those of you who have been keeping this secret and praying for us, a BIG thank-you! 

A few more March pictures

 The first day of Spring!

Eden and Josiah are just a little excited to ride the Carousel.

Josiah trying to hang with the older boys at adoption group.

Trying out the park in our neighborhood. Josiah is never lacking expression!

Enjoying the swings.

Josiah opening his Easter basket from G&G Ringger.

Enjoying the horses at Sam and Becky's at Easter.

Recent Happenings

A few things we've been up to lately...

Thanks to Ben Kellenberger our ceiling is finally finished!

While Jon went to Big Sky, Montana with some friends....

...Kyann was kind of enough to come stay with me!

Enjoying breakfast with Maria, Alyssa, and Kyann. 

Apparently it got a little too long for Josiah:~)

We took a quick trip home to Ohio and Josiah got to spend some time with his cousins.

     Enjoying some coffee with the glowing soon-to-be bride Trisha!                         

Josiah continues to keep things lively!

Josiah enjoying Addy's birthday party at the mall. 

Top pic: Group shot

From left to right:

Josiah was so excited to ride the carrousel, but as soon as it started he hopped into my arms. This was followed by throwing pennies into the fountain. Josiah spent most of the time trying to throw himself in instead.

Josiah was circumcised yesterday. The day started with us leaving Fort Wayne in snow flurries and immediately getting stuck in a 45 minute traffic jam from an accident. Thankfully since we had decided to leave so early we made it just a little late to Riley. Thankfully Grandma Myra came with us, which was a huge blessing. After getting settled in the pre-op area we were told it was going to be another 2 hours until surgery. Josiah, who was only able to have some clear liquids in the morning, did amazingly well while we waited. Suddenly, about 20 minutes after they told us there would be a 2 hours delay, they said it was time to go. I quickly got Josiah into his gown, met with the surgeon, and Josiah was off (they decoyed him with an iPad so he went happily with them).  The surgery went great,  but the nurse said Josiah woke up a bit freaked out in recovery and started sobbing when he saw us. Thankfully he slept most of the way home, only fussing a bit, and enjoyed some of his  favorite foods- chicken nuggets and french fries. By the time we were home he was ready to run around and play. I'm happy to report that he is doing great today! 

1 year!

As I logged onto my blog early this morning I realized it's been over 2 months since I've posted last. Oops! I guess it is true that time flies when you're having fun! Instead of taking the time to back track on my posts,  I'll give a quick recap of the past couple months. (And Sheresa, if you are reading this, I'm afraid I am way to boring to be part of your Liebster award, although I was flattered you tagged me!)

December: We enjoyed another great Christmas while juggling some house projects at our new place in Fort Wayne. The highlight was going home to Ohio at the end of the month for my family Christmas.

January: January was a busy month with last minute house painting & cleaning. All that I can say is a huge THANKS- specifically to my parents and my mother-in-law Myra. You blessed Jon and I with so much help that it made everything a lot less stressful. We moved the third weekend in January on a beautiful, sunny day, ending it with a pizza party with two special families.

Now on to February. We are adjusting well to Fort Wayne and enjoying the many perks of being close to things, especially Jon's work! We started attending Leo AC church and that has been a great transition as well as the people have been very warm and friendly. 

Anyway, the real reason I even got on the blog was to share a very special date. It was one year ago on this day that we saw Josiah for the first time. Click here to recap on this very special time in our lives.

Sadly, a year later, I still haven't sorted through all the videos and pictures we took during this weekend to upload some new ones to share. In the meantime, here is my favorite video I shared last year of Jon announcing our referral to Grandpa and Grandma Ringger.

Josiah's referral pictures. I'll never forget the moment the first pictures popped open to the most gorgeous baby I had ever seen.

Moving-Take Two...and 6 months

First of all, thanks for all the helpful hints for the blog!

Secondly, without going into the long version, we have pushed our moving date back until mid-January.  I'm so thankful to have a few more weeks to get some things done!

As we near our 6 month mark of having Josiah home, I continue to be amazed and humbled by how God has blessed our family. Josiah officially turned 18 months on December 6th. 

Here are a few updates: (Sorry about the horrible picture quality. Pics were taken from phone. Turns out, it's hard to get a clear picture with a constantly moving toddler!)

When Josiah joined our family he was barely crawling- now he is running and climbing all over the place! He continues to by playful, smiley, and his babbles are starting to turn into words. He surprised me a couple weeks ago by starting to sing along with Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. Part of Jon and I's bedtime routine has become us sharing all the things we love about Josiah and the hilarious things he did that day.

Josiah discovering the art of stepping on toys to get where you want.

Another exciting change that has happened as we hit our half-year mark is that Josiah is starting to sleep much better! Josiah came to us experiencing extreme change and loss, a different time zone,  and on an every 4 hours bottle schedule.  Add in the four ear infections, plus teething (we have a late teether!), and the confusion of me going back to work. So after camping out in his room, co-sleeping and more co-sleeping, and all sorts of sleeping tricks that parents can come up with, in the past month, we have been able to start (the key word here is start) to experience joy of sleeping through the night again! 

Nothing better than an afternoon nap with a great cuddler!

People are curious how are attachment/bonding is going. Without getting into too much detail, Jon and I are thankful with how things are going in our family. For example, when we look back at pictures from Ethiopia and remember how Josiah had a hard time maintaining eye contact, compared the warm and friendly little guy who is okay looking at us with his big beautiful brown eyes and we praise God for this! This is just one example of how we have seen growth in our relationship. That being said, we still have  some concerns and are being careful to intentionally do everything we can to continue to foster his attachment to our family. Adoption has taught me so much about attachment/bonding/loss/trauma/etc, and it has created an awe by how God has created families to meet these needs. 

One of the funny quirks about Josiah is he loves to "swiffer" and sweep. Swiffering has become one of Josiah's daily routine as he can easily get it out of our closet. He spends great lengths of time going from one room to another, making sure to get underneath the couch, bed, and other hard to reach places.

 Josiah actually started out scared of the sweeper. Then he decided he liked it as long as I was holding him. Now, he wants to do it all himself! As a reward for his good behavior last night, I let him sweep the kitchen. He seriously did a great job...even picking up some of the things he had thrown on the floor and putting them away in drawers. Sadly, I'm sure by the time he is actually old enough to perform these tasks as "chores", they will have lost their appeal. 

Hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season and MERRY CHRISTMAS!